It is a constant question from every one, why do you have so many and how do you do it?
My life has been one of many difficulties and each one of those has brought a better sense of what I want my life to mean and what I want to accomplish with it.
When I lost Josie my world desolved before my eyes and there was nothing that had any meaning beyond that moment. With my husbands insistance that he could not go on with out a pug we did add the twins. As wonderful as it was to watch them I could not connect to them. I would have given them back in a second to have my Josie back. After several weeks my life started to come into focus and as hard as I tried I could not get them to fill the void that was left in my heart as well as my life.
I began searching pug sites and found the rescue sites. I spent hours looking and reading and knew this was something I was ment to do. There was a little pug that had me coming back many times a day and I just could not take my eyes off of her. I knew she needed me as much as I needed her. It took a while but she did become part of our family and from the very first minute I held her I knew that this was destiny.
Pearlie was a very special joy and a wonderful teacher. I watched her as she grabbed each day and took charge of it, used it and wanted more. She was such a treasure, my mini Pearl.
Just as our life were feeling complete Pearl started my greatest lessons, she became gravely ill. I had to learn how to let her go when we had just said hello. I did not except that she could not be helped and did everything humanly possible to make her well. It took a while but I finally learned that the most humane thing was to let her go. In those final days I spent every waking moment holding her and surounding her with as much love as I could give her. I had to reach farther into my self than I had ever gone to make sure that I had given her all the love and caring that she desirved.
The day Pearlie died I knew that she felt at peace and that she was home. She died having the love of a family and that was something that was my greatest gift to give her.

Knowing Pearl and loving Pearl as we had it was impossible to not keep our hearts open to others in need. If I could make a difference in just one life then Pearls lessons to me would not be in vain.
In each pug that we have added to our lives we have recieved much more than we give. I consider myself the special needs case here,not the blind or the deaf or the onesthat have movement problems In their becomeing part of my life I am the one that is the reciever of all the love and caring. They are my teachers and my healers and I am blessed to have the opportunity to have them in my life.
Why do I? How could I not!



puglvnfool
Monday, June 9 2003

In November 2000, I went to Sissys grave to see her and talk to her. It was a cold day and I told her how much I missed her and how I needed to know that she was alright. It seemed to warm up around me, but it started to snow. Now, it does snow in our area, but according to all weather reports and history, it was not due to snow anytime soon. I told Sis I loved her and that I should go home to beat the snow on the roads.

As I started to leave, I looked towards the mountains and seen the biggest rainbow ever. It was bright and spanned two mountains. I looked back towards the cemetery and whispered "Thank You Baby". And I started the drive home. The snow started coming down faster and harder and was sticking to the roads fast.

About halfway home, I heard a clanging sound. I had lost a hubcap. I have lost hubcaps before, but never on the vehicle I was driving. I slowed as quick as I could to stop and retrieve my hubcap and as I stopped, a woman in a car had lost control of her car and slid into the guardrail and spun to a stop. Right where I would have been if I had not stopped!! Could it be, that Sis made me lose that hubcap to keep me from becoming involved in an accident? Was I put in that spot to make sure the woman was okay? I think that is exactly what happened. And the woman in the car was alright, just had a badly damaged car.

Do I believe that our pets let us know they are alright? I didn't before that day. I had only hoped. But, I would say there were too many coincidences that day to be just a fluke. I now tell people that our pets do let us know they are alright at the Bridge. All you have to do, is watch for the unexpected around you. It will be something that only you two will know and it could be great, or it could be subtle. And if you do not see it, I believe they keep trying until you do learn about them.

I think Sissy knew that I was having a hard time with her loss, and knowing how Sis always had to do things big, she really came through to make sure that I would not mistake it that day.


SissysDad
Monday, June 9 2003